The Pioneer

Sir mentioned to me that I had opened up the deepest, darkest parts of him, parts that he thought he would never explore. He wanted me to blog about how that made me feel.

I feel...

Like God when he created Adam and Eve. Like Christopher Columbus when he discovered the Americas. Like Michelangelo when he painted the Cistine Chapel.

There is a dark recess inside my man, a place that no one, not even himself, has dared to explore. Certainly nobody has ever taken his hand and said "Let's go look, lets see what we find." Further still, nobody has ever reassured him that whatever is found in there, it won't just be acknowledged, it will be fostered and encouraged.

I want to walk that path, my leash in his hand, explore that garden where the flowers have wilted and thorny brambles have taken over. I want him to lay me down in the briar patch and let every thought, every desire, penetrate me, lacerate me, leave their mark upon me.

For whatever reason, I have managed to cut through the bullshit, strip away the lessons of morality and society, to negate the standards that modern life teaches us about restraint, propriety, dignity. I have managed to tap into his primal core, where the urges are animalistic and dangerous, where the creatures bite and claw. I want him to let them loose upon me.

I feel.... alive.