A lot has been made recently of changes I have seen in pet. She has commented a few times that "you didnt think I could do it, did you?"
"It" refers to what I call "the transformation". It is that wonderful and amazing change that has occurred as we have changed the nature of our relationship from a vanilla one to one incorporating the lifestyle.
To be honest with myself and to Pet, I admit a bit of hesitancy when she came to me with this BDSM concept. Pet is a very strong willed and determined person. She definately has a mind of her own and is very self reliant. Previously in our relationship we had butted heads often over issues of control and who was "wearing the pants" so to speak. Every step I made to gain a more dominant position in the relationship was protested and there was much strife. She tells me, now, that at times she felt like - wanted to - give in and submit but didnt. I on the other hand respected her independence and strength to a degree I never "forced" the issue to the breaking point. In any event, when she came to me in November and we began discussing incorporating BDSM into our relationship and that it was something she needed, I was hesitant. I could not envision such a strong willed woman who had fought me at every pass submitting herself to me. Albeit, I never gave up and always carried on but when it reached a boiling point I would normally back down. I guess for my part I was unsure how well I could handle a drastic change like that. Ive gained more confidence in that aspect lately and some of that credit goes to Pet as well. What a wonderful gal she is.
I was wrong about her being able to reverse roles so quickly. She has submitted herself in a way I never could have imagined. It has been wonderful to see the changes. I dont believe she is as "carefree" as she may have been previously...able to do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. However, I do see her as having become more comfortable and happy with our relationship. She is more comfortable with who she is too and, on the whole, I see her as being happier now that she has opened this part of her life up.
I for one feel more comfortable myself. There is such an easy flow of communication now and the disagreements that formerly would have caused strife have been alleviated to a great degree. There is a passion in her for this which is exciting to see and helps fuel my own desires. She tries so hard and I can see it is something she truly wants. It makes me smile when I see her put so much effort into developing our relationship and exploring more about this lifestyle and who she is. Our discussions about what we want to see, things we'd like to do, explore, etc are an absolute joy. Again, she speaks with a passion and interest that ignites my own interests and make me all the more thankful that she shared this aspect of herself.
She doesn't sleep a great deal better than before. Her moods have not changed all that much (lol) . But there are so many noticeable changes about her that it warms me inside to notice them. The willingness she has had to change her outward self and allow me to seep into her core is staggering. I never thought I would see her let go as much as she has, so quickly, and allow me to take over aspects of her life and call-the-shots. She is consistently aware of our roles and the interplay between us. There are times where she may forget her place here and there but not often. I make more than my share of mistakes as well. What is nice is how easily we seem to be working through them. Pet has been good about that which is another nice transformation I have seen in her. So much to say. I may blog about this topic again.
Ill end for now by saying I am thankful to pet for coming to me and communicating her thoughts about BDSM. She could have done it behind my back, found someone who was already "in" the lifestyle to explore it with and abandoned our vanilla relationship. I am proud of her for coming to me and saying "look, this is what I have decided I need...lets discuss it." I look forward to every single day with Pet. We have a bright future together. Although theres a few long months ahead of us I know we will pull through. Both of us will continue to improve and develop and by the time we meet again we will have a strong bond and understanding between us. I think that will provide an excellent foundation for us to start the rest of our lives together.
Love you Pet
"It" refers to what I call "the transformation". It is that wonderful and amazing change that has occurred as we have changed the nature of our relationship from a vanilla one to one incorporating the lifestyle.
To be honest with myself and to Pet, I admit a bit of hesitancy when she came to me with this BDSM concept. Pet is a very strong willed and determined person. She definately has a mind of her own and is very self reliant. Previously in our relationship we had butted heads often over issues of control and who was "wearing the pants" so to speak. Every step I made to gain a more dominant position in the relationship was protested and there was much strife. She tells me, now, that at times she felt like - wanted to - give in and submit but didnt. I on the other hand respected her independence and strength to a degree I never "forced" the issue to the breaking point. In any event, when she came to me in November and we began discussing incorporating BDSM into our relationship and that it was something she needed, I was hesitant. I could not envision such a strong willed woman who had fought me at every pass submitting herself to me. Albeit, I never gave up and always carried on but when it reached a boiling point I would normally back down. I guess for my part I was unsure how well I could handle a drastic change like that. Ive gained more confidence in that aspect lately and some of that credit goes to Pet as well. What a wonderful gal she is.
I was wrong about her being able to reverse roles so quickly. She has submitted herself in a way I never could have imagined. It has been wonderful to see the changes. I dont believe she is as "carefree" as she may have been previously...able to do whatever she wanted whenever she wanted. However, I do see her as having become more comfortable and happy with our relationship. She is more comfortable with who she is too and, on the whole, I see her as being happier now that she has opened this part of her life up.
I for one feel more comfortable myself. There is such an easy flow of communication now and the disagreements that formerly would have caused strife have been alleviated to a great degree. There is a passion in her for this which is exciting to see and helps fuel my own desires. She tries so hard and I can see it is something she truly wants. It makes me smile when I see her put so much effort into developing our relationship and exploring more about this lifestyle and who she is. Our discussions about what we want to see, things we'd like to do, explore, etc are an absolute joy. Again, she speaks with a passion and interest that ignites my own interests and make me all the more thankful that she shared this aspect of herself.
She doesn't sleep a great deal better than before. Her moods have not changed all that much (lol) . But there are so many noticeable changes about her that it warms me inside to notice them. The willingness she has had to change her outward self and allow me to seep into her core is staggering. I never thought I would see her let go as much as she has, so quickly, and allow me to take over aspects of her life and call-the-shots. She is consistently aware of our roles and the interplay between us. There are times where she may forget her place here and there but not often. I make more than my share of mistakes as well. What is nice is how easily we seem to be working through them. Pet has been good about that which is another nice transformation I have seen in her. So much to say. I may blog about this topic again.
Ill end for now by saying I am thankful to pet for coming to me and communicating her thoughts about BDSM. She could have done it behind my back, found someone who was already "in" the lifestyle to explore it with and abandoned our vanilla relationship. I am proud of her for coming to me and saying "look, this is what I have decided I need...lets discuss it." I look forward to every single day with Pet. We have a bright future together. Although theres a few long months ahead of us I know we will pull through. Both of us will continue to improve and develop and by the time we meet again we will have a strong bond and understanding between us. I think that will provide an excellent foundation for us to start the rest of our lives together.
Love you Pet
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