They both start with Dom, how different could they be? Domineering means to rule arbitrarily, to be overbearing and tyrannical. Dominating, while it still pertains to control, means simply to rule over and govern.
We've had a tough time with discovering our limitations, well to be honest, my limitations. I haven't always communicated them honestly to Sir, so he hasn't always been aware of when I have been pushed way beyond them.
At the same time, in an effort to maintain the balance of power within our relationship I feel that Sir has often been more domineering than dominating, something I have not handled very well. The more domineering he became, the more distant I would become, and at a loss as to how else to control the situation he became more domineering, and the cycle continued until he let go of control completely by dismissing me.
It can be a very fine line between the two forms of control, and I think within a BDSM relationship there is certainly room for the Dom to be domineering. D/s is symbiotic however. Without a submissive the domineering Dominant is merely a vanilla schoolyard bully.
One of the things that helps me to cope with Sir when he is being domineering, and certainly enforces my role as the submissive, is the addition of sexual domination. I know that some Dom/mes and subs don't see BDSM as sexual at all, which completely baffles me because for me it is all about eroticism of the senses, be they physical or emotional.
I feel that one of the reasons we grew so distant is that there was no sexual connection between us for months. I know he did that out of respect for me, he knows I dislike "cybersex". But I think we are both intelligent enough that we can find ways to connect sexually with each other without either of us having to be at our computers.
He will be the first to admit that when I am being fussy, unruly and generally uncooperative, that after an orgasm I am a completely different person, tamed and meek, placid and gentle, giggly.
I always worry when giving Sir "feedback" on my training that I am topping from the bottom, saying "this is how I want to be treated". I don't know how I can avoid that and give genuine feedback, so I will simply say that I believe if Sir integrates more sexual domination into our relationship he will see the difference it can make. I will also remind Sir, that as part of our initial negotiations which are listed in the margin of this blog, one of Pet's expectations was "To have more sexual situations and be pushed more in that regards." ;)
We've had a tough time with discovering our limitations, well to be honest, my limitations. I haven't always communicated them honestly to Sir, so he hasn't always been aware of when I have been pushed way beyond them.
At the same time, in an effort to maintain the balance of power within our relationship I feel that Sir has often been more domineering than dominating, something I have not handled very well. The more domineering he became, the more distant I would become, and at a loss as to how else to control the situation he became more domineering, and the cycle continued until he let go of control completely by dismissing me.
It can be a very fine line between the two forms of control, and I think within a BDSM relationship there is certainly room for the Dom to be domineering. D/s is symbiotic however. Without a submissive the domineering Dominant is merely a vanilla schoolyard bully.
One of the things that helps me to cope with Sir when he is being domineering, and certainly enforces my role as the submissive, is the addition of sexual domination. I know that some Dom/mes and subs don't see BDSM as sexual at all, which completely baffles me because for me it is all about eroticism of the senses, be they physical or emotional.
I feel that one of the reasons we grew so distant is that there was no sexual connection between us for months. I know he did that out of respect for me, he knows I dislike "cybersex". But I think we are both intelligent enough that we can find ways to connect sexually with each other without either of us having to be at our computers.
He will be the first to admit that when I am being fussy, unruly and generally uncooperative, that after an orgasm I am a completely different person, tamed and meek, placid and gentle, giggly.
I always worry when giving Sir "feedback" on my training that I am topping from the bottom, saying "this is how I want to be treated". I don't know how I can avoid that and give genuine feedback, so I will simply say that I believe if Sir integrates more sexual domination into our relationship he will see the difference it can make. I will also remind Sir, that as part of our initial negotiations which are listed in the margin of this blog, one of Pet's expectations was "To have more sexual situations and be pushed more in that regards." ;)
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