Punishment has always been a sticky issue for me in regards to addressing it with pet. By trade I handle discipline and deal out punishment as a daily routine. I have no fear of it, per se, nor am I weak and unwilling to administer it. I simply seem to have an arduous time correlating Pet performing an unpropitious act to reasonable consequence.
I firmly believe that offenses need to be addressed. I also firmly opine that the consequence (and again note the use of CONSEQUENCE here, rather than punishment) be fitting to that offense which has been committed.
There are a variety of factors which cause my excognition to lapse. I believe distance to be one factor - the simple fact that I am not at-hand to administer various forms of consequence nor to focus the effects. Secondly, being as D/S is new to me I believe I still have difficulty at times to be cognisant that focusing Pet's behavior is not only her responsibility but also my own. Lastly, it can be difficult at times as well for me to envision a proper consequence which I feel is a "fitting" response.
As I stated earlier...I believe that the consequence should be fitting. Punishment to me is penal. It is inflicting. It is there to hammer home a point. I am an adherent to the philosophy that punishment is not always the best solution. Beating a dog does not always exasperate the desired response. I find this to be true with my current occupation. I believe it to be true to the dynamic between Pet and myself.
The other day Pet came without permission. Pet must ask permission whenever it is feasible (ie, im not sleeping) before she may come. Not only did she do this but she messages me to let me know she did and that she believes she did it simply to push my buttons and see what the result would be. What a recalcitrant little pet!
In the end I believe I was too easy on her. There are many ways I could have handled it differently were I closer. For instance, had I actually been there I believe I would have developed a scene for us to perform which would have enforced the discipline and put it to the forefront of her mind what was expected. But I am not right at hand and options become limited.
What actually happened is I assigned her a menial task to perform and told her that the next time it happened the consequence would be more severe.
The impasse for me was that I felt she could have just hidden the entire incident and not said a word. For me, her forthright acknowledgment was to her credit. After some later discussion Pet stated that "but me telling you what I did was an act of overt defiance and pushing your buttons..." I could cede that train of thought - however I believe the act of doing it was defiance in and of itself and telling me was just icing on the cake. Maybe I have a soft spot for her bratty nature as well. I always told her I never wanted a meek kitten that would roll over and do everything I said: I'll just snatch the claws off any big snarling-cat behavior.
Whatever the reasons may be I think I was a tad easy. My supposition, or hope, is that she knows I will do something and that the consequences can and will always be stepped up. I just hate having options limited and I do not always like what my options are. I find far too often that the choices always lead to a form of pointless menial punishment when other methods may be better.
- Signed, Owner
I firmly believe that offenses need to be addressed. I also firmly opine that the consequence (and again note the use of CONSEQUENCE here, rather than punishment) be fitting to that offense which has been committed.
There are a variety of factors which cause my excognition to lapse. I believe distance to be one factor - the simple fact that I am not at-hand to administer various forms of consequence nor to focus the effects. Secondly, being as D/S is new to me I believe I still have difficulty at times to be cognisant that focusing Pet's behavior is not only her responsibility but also my own. Lastly, it can be difficult at times as well for me to envision a proper consequence which I feel is a "fitting" response.
As I stated earlier...I believe that the consequence should be fitting. Punishment to me is penal. It is inflicting. It is there to hammer home a point. I am an adherent to the philosophy that punishment is not always the best solution. Beating a dog does not always exasperate the desired response. I find this to be true with my current occupation. I believe it to be true to the dynamic between Pet and myself.
The other day Pet came without permission. Pet must ask permission whenever it is feasible (ie, im not sleeping) before she may come. Not only did she do this but she messages me to let me know she did and that she believes she did it simply to push my buttons and see what the result would be. What a recalcitrant little pet!
In the end I believe I was too easy on her. There are many ways I could have handled it differently were I closer. For instance, had I actually been there I believe I would have developed a scene for us to perform which would have enforced the discipline and put it to the forefront of her mind what was expected. But I am not right at hand and options become limited.
What actually happened is I assigned her a menial task to perform and told her that the next time it happened the consequence would be more severe.
The impasse for me was that I felt she could have just hidden the entire incident and not said a word. For me, her forthright acknowledgment was to her credit. After some later discussion Pet stated that "but me telling you what I did was an act of overt defiance and pushing your buttons..." I could cede that train of thought - however I believe the act of doing it was defiance in and of itself and telling me was just icing on the cake. Maybe I have a soft spot for her bratty nature as well. I always told her I never wanted a meek kitten that would roll over and do everything I said: I'll just snatch the claws off any big snarling-cat behavior.
Whatever the reasons may be I think I was a tad easy. My supposition, or hope, is that she knows I will do something and that the consequences can and will always be stepped up. I just hate having options limited and I do not always like what my options are. I find far too often that the choices always lead to a form of pointless menial punishment when other methods may be better.
- Signed, Owner
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